How to Leave What's Behind for a New Beginning
Dec 14, 2019
New Beginnings in 2020
January first! Every year on this day - the first day of a brand-new year and a brand-new decade - always excites me! It makes me me think about all the first days of my life. What are yours?
- The first day of marriage?
- The first day you held your first child?
- The first day on a new job?
- The first day after a major loss?
- Your first kiss?
- Your first slow dance?
First days are both wonderful and sometimes challenging. And here we are, ready to take on another new beginning of the year and a decade. I have been thinking about all my firsts in the last 10 years, and goals for this coming year and decade. I’m sure most of you have begun to think about this too.
- What were you doing 10 years ago?
- How have you changed?
- How has your life changed?
Every decade is a fresh new beginning to create the next ten years of our lives, almost like a brand new chapter in a book. It seems the older I get, the more I see how each decade is an opportunity to see milestones in my life…what has worked and what hasn’t worked.
"And the importance of leaving what is behind to make room for what lies ahead."
My 8-week, short story series beginning in January 2020 -features Rebecca Campbell, who finds herself taking stock of her life and realizing that even though she was highly successful in the professional world, something more was needed...something was missing.
So, this New Year in 2020, take some time to reflect over the last ten years. What worked well for you and what didn’t? For me, the last ten years has brought the births of my two younger daughters and my son in heaven. I have had the launch of my first book, Just Be: How My Stillborn Son Taught Me to Surrender, and magazine Simply Be Magazine. I’ve had ten more years of love and partnership from my husband Jason. I’ve experienced both heartache and great joy. As an author and businesswoman, 2020 is now a new beginning with new firsts to come. Though we are not sure of all the firsts in the next ten years, we can prepare and we can trust that there will be goodness ahead.
Recently, in my devotional time, I read a verse that encouraged me,
“You crown the year with your bounty, and your carts overflow with abundance.”- Psalm 65:11
We can be ready for new beginnings because God is with us crowning the year with goodness and bounty. For me, as I prepare, I’ve started thinking about how to get ready for the bounty and the abundance!
- How will I meet the challenges?
- How can I do things better and more efficiently?
- What changes do I need to make, to improve on my writing skills and business?
- What do I need to change to invite more stillness and listen more deeply to what the whispers into my own mind and heart?
I’ve decided that instead of New Year resolutions, I will just choose three things that I want to grow in, write them down and take small steps. What are your new beginnings you want to make?
Here are four approaches you can take to help you write down your three things. I believe taking small steps that shows growth encourages us along the way to goodness and abundance!
- FIND THE TIME TO BE ALONE. At first you might notice that you’re restless and somewhat uncomfortable as you sit down alone with your thoughts. The first thing to do is: find a cozy, comfortable spot to sit, grab some tea and maybe even burn some essential oils to help you relax! Get a new journal and write down all the first things, both challenges and blessings, over the last 10 years. Write down what your goals were. Did you accomplish them or not? Why or why not? What were your successes? Failures? How have your relationships grown or stagnated? Look at each part of your life…your health, peace of mind, relationships, family, finances, environment and career. Are you satisfied with where things are at in each area of your life? Take a CLEAN SWEEP of your past events over the last 10 years so that you can make the changes needed for the next 10 years. Time alone gives you a chance to recharge and renew yourself. In an extraverted world, it is important to charge your energy batteries. You may love to talk to others to process your emotions but be careful not to let talking replace the hard work of writing and processing what you write. Unlike talking, writing your thoughts down has more impact and permanence. That takes a lot of courage! The first step to a powerful new beginning is to gain clarity as you dig deeper to know yourself and higher love more deeply.
- FORGIVE. Forgiving is about letting go of past hurtful memories: the things, thoughts, ideas, people, and even yourself. It is about freeing yourself from the past so that you have the space and time to create an abundant future in which you align with God’s love. Holding on to anger, blocks this from coming to you. Forgiveness opens your heart to new opportunities and people to enter your life. Sometimes when you feel stuck or stagnant, ask yourself “who or what do I need to forgive?” Many times, you may be angry and need to identify what you are angry about. When you do this, you will see that behind the anger is disappointed love. That person or group failed to be who you expected them to be. Anger dissolves as you gain understanding and then is replaced with forgiveness. Recognizing that even though you may not see that person anymore, you can have passionate feelings. Those feelings are a clue of how to access more love. Until you can forgive and let go of the past, you cannot move forward into your future.
- KNOW YOU ARE GOOD ENOUGH. Once you have completed the above two steps, you are ready for self-acceptance. There may be some beliefs that are standing in the way of creating a new beginning and following your heart. Looking at your own history and the history around you to discover the truth about yourself and the times we live in can be intimidating. Remember, you are on a journey to learn the secrets of inner courage and personal power. That’s who you really are and you’ve never lost them—they’ve just been hidden--your light, joy, and energy may be submerged. By journaling through the above steps, you will find them again. The barrier will likely be your beliefs that are hard to shake. The best way to break free of limiting beliefs about yourself is through imagination! The imagination is a bridge to take you from one place to another…from one belief to another. That’s why I write stories—to capture your imagination and help you bridge new possibilities of higher love. When I write stories and characters for my readers, I build a bridge by tapping into their imagination. You can imagine being with them, feeling their feelings and holding images that help you build a bridge also. For instance, you may have learned growing up that you’re not good enough. Maybe one of your parents made you feel that way. By reading about a character in a story who also had that belief and how she overcame it, healed it and all that is possible, helps you see how to break free. You must be able to see that YOU ARE ENOUGH to create new beginnings.
- CHOICES. We make choices every day and most of those are based on our comfort zones. What is a comfort zone? It is a place where we become comfortable with things and don’t want to choose something new. Physical aspects can tell us where you are at ease. They are a reliable indicator of how people will respond and behave. Comfort zones can stagnate and then there is no mental expansion. People stay in the same place. Tragedy or trauma can push people to change. As you prepare for new beginnings, realize that you will be urged to push past those places where you are comfortable and in need of expansion. This is where baby steps come in. What do you choose to be in the situation you are in right now? How can you choose differently? Another definition of COMFORT ZONE might be:
“Your comfort zone is your base of operations, your place of strength. You want to culture it, feed it and make it a fortress by learning and knowing what you like and dislike, what makes you happy and what doesn’t."
However, doing new things every day is not really effective. Personal growth comes from expanding our comfort zones and choosing new things. It is important to be open to new experiences, but don’t do it to stretch your comfort zone. Do it because you want to learn, grow, understand yourself better and have better coping skills.
New beginnings will ask you to stretch your comfort zones to grow. This is where you can choose three things you really want to grow in and taking small steps. When you blow up a balloon, you blow enough air in to expand the balloon as far as it will go without it bursting. And you end up with a big colorful balloon! This is how you expand your comfort zones…breathing in enough air to stretch growth and taste more goodness in your life.
That’s what Rebecca discovered...
“Rebecca was comfortable with her life and high profile career in the city, but she had an ache in her heart that she couldn’t identify until she took a much needed break from work during a busy season to spend time in Vermont, skiing and living in a cabin in the woods.” - Love Paints the Way by Lindsay Gibson, a short story series. This series plus more in my FREE season wellness Simply Be Magazine.
- RECAST YOUR STORY AND PLAN FOR A NEW BEGINNING. When was a time that you had a happy ending or read about a happy ending to a story? This is remembering success and most of us have a hard time with that. If you asked a co-worker or friend, “How did you succeed this week?” they would look at you like a deer caught in headlights. We seem to get so stuck on the failures with ourselves and all around us in the news. This is one reason I created the “Just Be Together Magazine” for my readers. A place to find joyful places, tips for bettering your life and read stories with happy endings. It is a place for you to find inspiration and passion for your own life.
Take a moment and think about passionate and inspiring people in your life. What are they doing? How do they make you feel? What do they know about themselves—both good and bad? How do you think they feel about themselves? Do they have “happy endings” in their lives? The importance of self-acceptance is critical to a path of abundance and joy. You can’t copy how they did things since you are unique, but you can imagine happy endings in your own life and create a plan for new beginnings.
May you be on a journey of new beginnings that brings you great happiness in this new year and new decade!